Don't Touch Your Icky Bits

Last night I went to pick up my daughter from daycare. She was playing outside when I got there, and her diaper was wet, so I went inside to change it before we left, because we weren't going straight home. She has recently discovered her genitalia, and figured out how to remove her diaper (ah, the joys of toddlerhood), and is interested in touching herself. I have a strict policy of not making a big deal about this, as long as there's no pee or poop involved. So before I put the new diaper on she asked for powder, and after I put powder on her she rubbed it around a little bit. Just then one of the daycare workers, T, walked into the room from outside and loudly said "don't touch your icky bits, honey!" I ignored T, looked right at my daughter, and said "that's your vulva, but you don't have any icky parts."

This morning when I dropped her off, T made a huge deal about asking me, in an exaggeratedly sweet and condescending way, if we were allowing her to remove her diaper and "play with herself" since that's usually against their policy. I responded, in an equally sweet and condescending way, that no, we don't usually let her run around with no diaper on, for hygienic purposes, but that we don't want her to internalize any shame about her body, feel like it's not OK to explore it, or use silly and negative euphemisms for her body parts. T dismissively arched her brows at me but verbally agreed. I'm not sure if I won this one or not...