Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Please god my kids don't grow up to have Family Values™

How to Teach Your Kids to Be Haters:

  1. Be a part of a parents group who organizes an alternative prom once your hateful conservative school district cancels prom in order to avoid having to allow a lesbian couple to attend.

  2. Tell the lesbian couple, as well as any other social outcasts who you view as less than human that the prom will be held at location A.

  3. Secretly organize the real prom at location B for all the kids you deem worthy of experiencing the alleged magic of prom night.

  4. Let your kids watch all this hatefulness unfold as they dance the night away, secure in their unearned privilege, and feel smug and self-satisfied that they're internalizing your bigoted, small-minded, petty, hateful worldview.

And it's all done in the name of Christianity and Family Values, y'all. Please god my kids grow up to be thoughtful and inclusive and compassionate and open-minded rather than people with Family Values.


  1. I just want to say that this post title should be on a t-shirt. Awesomeness.

  2. Quentin4/06/2010

    I hadn't heard this latest bit about the faux prom. How much worse can this story get? And aren't all the adults involved just so very ashamed of themselves by now? Seriously, what does it take with these people.

  3. Anonymous4/06/2010

    Not only a Tshirt, I foresee a song along the lines of "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys."

  4. diamondsforhorses4/06/2010

    You'd think, but parents like this don't see themselves as having anything to be ashamed of since associating with The Gay will cause The Gayness to rub off on their own kids and The Handicappeds and Learning Disableds aren't fully human and therefore don't have feeling which could be hurt anyway.

  5. "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Fundies"